The biggest problem with depression is the ability of the mind to relax. There are multiple factors that will keep your mind from relaxing. We have the worries that are inevitable in the present days, the stress from work, from relationships, from social interactions. Then we have the fears, the phobias that dominate us. Also the man needs to face the social pressure, he needs always to prove his manliness, that is able to provide for his family. Failure to accomplish this will lead to a low self-esteem. And this are just some examples.
A man life is full of challenges and so his mind is starting to be chattery, and busy with unimportant things, and this will keep him from finding the right solutions for his problems, and he will have more failures, that will cause the mind to be busier, and in the end depression will take over the mind and the sense that he is worthless. But let me tell you this: you are not worthless. You are caught in a vicious circle created by your own mind.
The first step in escaping the vicious circle is to quiet the mind. Many man do this by cultivating addictions. The most common addiction caused by the depression is the alcohol abuse.
The alcohol may provide a temporary relief, but the trouble is that the alcohol is a natural depressant, and all that will do is to deepen the depression and the vicious circle. There is no escape in alcohol. I am not saying to not drink anything, but you should not get drunk to ease the depression.
Alcohol is just the tip of the iceberg. Smoking is also a common addiction caused by depression. The myth is that the smoking will relax you and make you calmer. Man with depression needs their calmness because, different from women, the depression in men will manifest itself in anger bursts. The man can’t accept his depression, and when he his feeling down, or with low self-esteem will resort to anger directed to himself and to the others.
To calm his anger he may start smoking. But is just an illusion, just like drinking. The fact is the brain has a natural relaxant and analgesic substance, that he will inject in the system when is needed. When you smoke, there will be a pain response from the body, because of the nicotine, and the brain will release his analgesic. The trouble is that, once you start smoking, the brain will learn that a dose of nicotine will arrive soon and he will not release this substance unless you smoke. He has limited resources after all, and he want to be sure that are put to good use. As a consequence, by smoking you deprive your body of this substance when he needs it, especially when you are feeling down.
Ok, so we established what is doesn’t work. But what does work to help you out of depression and to find the inner peace? Depression is not a illness in itself, but is the result of several factors that go hand in hand, influence themselves and grow because of this influence until what we call depression is taking over and the vicious circle is activated. And once is activated, is harder to brake it.
But let’s look at the factors. The first component of depression is the self-esteem. If the self esteem is to low, the sensation of feeling worthless will take over you, and every thing you do will seem doom. This will generate the next vector of depression: the loneliness, and this in turn will lower even more the self esteem. And this two together give birth to another symptom of depression: procrastination and a general feeling of laziness. Because there will be an idea that will take place on your head: if you are worthless (low self esteem) and nobody is giving a damn about you (loneliness) what is the point of doing anything? And I don’t need to tell you that this is a bad idea, you need to act to get out of depression. Because in this depression soup: low self esteem, loneliness, laziness there is one more ingredient that will take over you: negativity.
So, this four are the vectors for depression, and you need to work to solve them. The bad news, is that they work hand in hand, and one of them is going down, the others, will also go down. The good news is also that they work hand in hand. For example, by cultivating a positive attitude, you may overcome laziness, you will boost self esteem and this will allow you to nurture better relationships, that in turn will increase your positive view of life and so on…
So, in your journey to inner peace, you need to be acknowledge this depression vectors, to analyze yourself and to grow them. How can you do this? Well, I will give different tips over time, and I hope that over time here you will find here all resource you need to battle the male depression and to conqueror it. But a quick tip is: start meditating! Is the first step easy step to break the vicious circle.